Category Archives: Cinicisms

Apparently One Monday This Week Wasn’t Enough

This morning started off with cat yak. Specifically, cat yak on the bed. Have you ever woken up that way? I don’t recommend it.

Only partly awake, I struggled to pull the duvet off the bed so I could throw the cover in to wash. I hung the soggy duvet off the back of my favourite Yowler’s sleeping chair so that I could survey the damage, then realized my eyes were refusing to focus and it would have to wait until I was actually functional. I found a couple of blankets, threw one over Lunchtruck (who hadn’t yet progressed past the …snore…Wha?… part of consciousness) checked on Her Highness (who was looking very ashamed because of course, she’d done the yakking, poor thing), and went back to bed with only one coherent thought:

Oh, it’s gonna be a doozy of a day.

After walking to work in the slush I was pretty sure of it. I love the city I live in, but I have a poor opinion of the state of some of it’s streets, especially in the Yaletown/Downtown area. Perhaps it’s because of all the construction, but there are some areas that are difficult to negotiate dry or wet, and when it’s slushing they are downright treacherous. I’m talking potholes with potholes, crevices big enough to catch a size 5 foot in, pavement so uneven that vehicles bounce when they go over it, thus requiring any female drivers to invest in steel-girdered bras… Basically it was slippy and slidey with a side of scary.

Eventually I got to work (late) and had to start my work day sans tea – not great, but I could manage that for one day. Midmorning I decided to prep the oatmeal I’d brought with me; I managed to get the water and oatmeal into the container without mishap, got it into the microwave without spilling, putting in only HALF the amount of time suggested and…

You know what’s coming, right?

The damn container exploded.

The microwaveable one I’ve been using on and off for the past 6 months. The one I’ve NEVER had a problem with before. That one.

I opened the door, looked in and started giggling. I couldn’t help it.

Still giggling I asked the lady who runs the cafeteria for a cloth so I could clean up the mess. She took one look at the the tray I was holding, and she started giggling.

Apparently she thought it looked like yak.

I lost it. I was laughing so hard I could barely breath, and she was right there with me. My morning had been a fiasco, and there was nothing I could do about it.

The good news? The Monday Godz took pity on me, because the rest of the day went smoothly. Well, except for the fact that I got mistaken for someone’s ex-girlfriend during my lunch break, but that’s another story…

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Crazy Making 101: Focus

Specifically…

“Focus solely on what needs to get done and beat yourself up for not having done it yet. Don’t bother to downplay what you’ve accomplished so far – ignore it completely.”

From “Chasing Your Tail: Snarkasm and the Art of Being Bitter”, courtesy Library of the Unpublished.